The Morning After...

As I scroll through my timeline and fight back the inevitable tears (and putting my fist through a wall… anger issues, I know. I’m working on them), I mourn and think, “Is this REALLY real life”? I didn’t think it was possible to feel so many emotions all at once. However, we knew this was a strong possibility and I’ll admit that I am not shocked by this result. That alone makes me so sad.

I’m afraid. As an African American, I’m not regarded as human because of the color of my skin.

I’m afraid. As a woman, I’m told by those who don’t have my body parts what I should be doing with my body parts.

I’m afraid. As an LGBT human, what the shape of my future family could (now) look like and those at the top exuding all resources so that they can prevent my basic human right to be happy.

I’m afraid. But I am not shocked. We knew in the deepest parts of our gut that this could happen. We knew that there were members of our families; our social circles that have made those comments months ago that made you tilt your head a bit. Or they said something that made you question your friendship/relationship. Today I ask those same members, what is it about being whom I am that made you hate it so much that you voted against it? 

I read on my timeline, hear on the radio and while walking to my building… “People are tired of a corrupt system. The system/government is rigged.” You know something? You’re right. For years our system hasn’t been perfect, but each and every day, we fight and live our lives to the fullest (some days being easier than others) and we do our best to live as decent humans.

Once again, I find myself taking a page out of my father’s tree-huggin’ hippie book and trying to find a space of love and peace. This is out of our control now. We can’t go back and change it. It is forever cemented in our history. There is no denying that today will be a rough day, but one thing is certain, as a unit, we are tough. We will (and must) find our way back to love. We will find a way to accept what has happened knowing we can't change it and find a way to keep it pushing. At this point, there isn't another choice.

So when the dust eventually settles, we’ll find our way back to some kind of normalcy. We'll find our way to love, to peace, and to an understanding that even though everyone may not have the same opinion, ideals, or vision, we can respect each other as humans and live our lives the best way we know how.

I'm trying guys. I'm trying...

But until that happens, my heart is heavy for those that look like me, those who fought so hard to be in a country to escape leaders LIKE him. So for those that voted for the misogynistic, bigot, racist, womanizing ASSHOLE, at this moment in time, I have nothing for you. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go finish my homework. I have to focus on graduating so I can find a way to change the world… one day at a time!